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Post by Paradelous on Oct 27, 2009 19:42:02 GMT -8
Yeah I had that same fear a while ago with my artwork published without its copyrights. Though, here is a trusty place. No one here intends to go for a singer that I know of. But don't feel obligated to, if you don't want to then that's fine.
You don't have to, perhaps you can explain a little bit of what the song is about so that we can have a grasp on what to critique you on.
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Post by Greelinator on Oct 27, 2009 19:51:36 GMT -8
Yeah I had that same fear a while ago with my artwork published without its copyrights. Though, here is a trusty place. No one here intends to go for a singer that I know of. But don't feel obligated to, if you don't want to then that's fine. You don't have to, perhaps you can explain a little bit of what the song is about so that we can have a grasp on what to critique you on. well, the song is about this guy who has never felt love before until he sees this one girl. after he conquers his fear and proposes, she declines, yet he claims that he will always love her. here is the chorus: Love is a wonder Love is like thunder Even if you won't be my wife You'll always be the love of my life |
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Post by Orkanis on Oct 27, 2009 19:56:15 GMT -8
If I was in your shoes, and she denied me...then I'd grab her and put her hair inside a cotton candy maker! Then say "LOVE MEHH!!!!!"...I mean...ahem, that's so sweet! :3
I like rhymes!
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Post by Greelinator on Oct 27, 2009 20:07:35 GMT -8
If I was in your shoes, and she denied me...then I'd grab her and put her hair inside a cotton candy maker! Then say "LOVE MEHH!!!!!"...I mean...ahem, that's so sweet! :3 I like rhymes! why would i do that to someone i love  ? the man in that song is me! except i haven't proposed and she accepted and returned my love later on. i'm making an album based on the two sides of love called Love's Ying-Yang. |
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Post by Paradelous on Oct 27, 2009 20:17:54 GMT -8
Haha wow, I was sort of expecting something like that.
A Ying-Yang album? Interesting.
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Post by Greelinator on Oct 28, 2009 17:24:43 GMT -8
that story i'm working on will require at least two-three separate posts. would it be okay if i made those posts in a row without bumping the posts? also, here is the full version of Love of My Life
Verse 1
In my life I was all alone
Then I saw you on your phone
It was then and there my life changed
But I couldn't get a conversation with you arranged
(Chorus)
Love is a wonder
Love is like thunder
Even if you won't be my wife
You'll always be the love of my life
Verse 2
I love your beautiful blonde hair
To me it's oh so rare
I love the sparkle in your eyes
When I see them I become hypnotized
(Chorus)
[Breakdown]
Love is a magnifcant and strange thing
There are many forms of love
You see more than others
Here's a question for you
How often do you see true love?
Verse 3
We've been dating for a year
To me it seemed so clear
So I had gone and proposed
The answer was now disclosed {she said no}
Solo 1
(2nd half of Chorus)
Solo 2
You'll always be
Always be (x4)
Always be the love of my life
words in bracket like things are backup vocals. these lyrics are typed as i have written. |
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Post by Paradelous on Oct 28, 2009 17:44:36 GMT -8
Not bad at all, I can actually picture something like this in a song.
What sort of music did you do this to inspire?
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Post by Greelinator on Oct 28, 2009 17:47:01 GMT -8
Not bad at all, I can actually picture something like this in a song. What sort of music did you do this to inspire? i don't understand. what do you mean? |
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Post by Paradelous on Oct 28, 2009 17:51:28 GMT -8
I'm sorry, I kind of worded that wrong.
I meant, for the lyrics, what music did you do it for? Are these lyrics for what genre.
You know, such as: Acoustic, metal, etc.
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Post by Greelinator on Oct 28, 2009 17:56:11 GMT -8
I'm sorry, I kind of worded that wrong. I meant, for the lyrics, what music did you do it for? Are these lyrics for what genre. You know, such as: Acoustic, metal, etc. oooooooh. it's for what i like to call soft metal. the vocals have a sincere touching sound to them, the guitars shred like a metal band, and the drums are more rockish than metal. if you want to know how i was inspired, just make a post asking me. i'll answer the post later as sometimes it's hard for me to tell the story. |
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Post by korin on Oct 30, 2009 14:16:46 GMT -8
ah, you mean like tool?? well thats great you are an awesome writer and hope you make it some where. Good luck
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Post by Greelinator on Oct 30, 2009 18:39:09 GMT -8
thanks korin  . that means a lot. i'm working on the story right now. it'll be awhile before it's done. can't rush perfection . |
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Post by Greelinator on Nov 9, 2009 21:04:19 GMT -8
*bump* here is one section of a story i'm typing. the story is called Music For Love (lame, i know)
It was a bright and sunny Friday. The sun was shining brightly on that June Friday, and I was spending it in a classroom. Science class specifically. We were learning about something having to do with the human anatomy. I didn’t really know, on a count I wasn’t paying much attention.
Oh, where are my manners? My name is Jack. I’m 19 years old and live in Manchester, NH. I stand around 5 ft. 5 in. and weigh around 145 lbs. in mostly muscle. I go to college at NHTI, New Hampshire Technical Institute. I attended NHTI with my girlfriend, Jennifer. We’ve been dating since high school. She is beautiful, but also has things in common with me.
My hobbies are game building, writing stories, and playing guitar. I have three future goals in life: becoming a famous gamer, becoming a famous writer, and becoming a famous guitarist. My inspirational guitarist is Rocky George. He was the lead guitarist for Suicidal Tendencies, and he could shred like crazy!
So anyway, I was stuck in science class, learning something uninteresting. I stared at the ever slow clock, waiting for it to strike 4 pm. Once the clock struck 4 pm, I was free! Just a few more seconds. 3, 2, 1, ding! The bell rang and I jumped out of my seat and ran for the door. Our teacher was rather generous this Friday and assigned no homework! I headed for Jennifer’s classroom, even though her class wasn’t over yet. I had to wait an hour before her class ended, but just seeing her passed the time. She was wearing a nice pink t-shirt that said A7X on it. She was also wearing navy blue jeans that fit her just right. Her dirty blonde hair was in a ponytail that went a little passed her shoulders. As for the definition of her body, lets just say it was as perfect as can be: slim and beautiful.
“Jennifer, can you tell me three famous Shakespeare plays?” asked her teacher.
“Hamlet, Macbeth, and Romeo and Juliet,” she answered with confidence.
“Correct!” the teacher replied. She took a quick peek at the door while the teacher was facing the chalkboard. She saw my sweet red mohawk, my custom made black Suicidal Tendencies shirt, and my impressive biceps. The door was covering the rest of my body (how unfortunate).
“Your boyfriend?” a student named Ashley asked Jennifer.
“Yes,” she answered in a dreamy way.
“That’s it for class today. Seeing as how it’s Halloween this weekend, I will be assigning no homework this weekend.” The class gave a shout as they packed up to leave. I slid away from the door as one of the students pushed it open. I waited for Jennifer to come out. Once she did, we headed for our dorms. We were lucky and got the same room.
“How was class?” I asked.
“The same,” she responded as usual. I swear that girl likes school more than you’d think. “How was your class?” she asked me.
“Boring as hell. I’m glad Mr. Hough gave us no homework.”
“Lucky bastards,” intervened our best friend Matthew, but we call him GHM. Ever since he beat Through the Fire and Flames on expert with the guitar behind his back we called him Guitar Hero Matt. Eventually we got sick of saying the whole name and shortened it to GHM.
“Why do you say that?” I asked smiling.
“We got major homework in Math today,” GHM said with disgust. Matthew is similar looking to me. He’s the same height, about the same weight, and he has a ripped body. When he’s not doing schoolwork he’s pumping iron in the gym. Matthew wishes to become the strongest non-steroid user in the world. In all honesty, I think those power drinks and bars should count as steroids, considering that’s all he practically eats or drinks! His hairstyle though is a bit whacky. His hair looks like Goku’s when he’s in Super Saiyan mode!
“Well, we’re going to the movies,” I said.
“What movie you going to see?” GHM asked.
“Death Race,” Jennifer responded. “Then we’re going to a haunted house.”
“I’m jealous and upset.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because if I didn’t have this homework I’d be able to go!” GHM yelled.
“Well good luck with that,” I said. Jennifer and I headed to our room to get ready for the movie. I changed my shirt into a sleeveless emerald shirt. I switched out of my jeans and threw on a pair of green cargo camouflage sweat pants.
“I’m going to take a quick shower,” Jennifer said.
“Okay,” was my lame response. While I waited I threw on some deodorant and sprayed some Axe on me. When Jennifer came out of the bathroom, she was wearing a small t-shirt that showed a little bit of the skin of her hips. Her jeans were replaced with tight, latex-like pants. Her hair was still in a ponytail and she had put on some make-up.
“How do I look?” she asked me.
“Uh…” I said blankly. The words couldn’t escaped my mouth. I just stared and thought that I had the best girlfriend ever.
“I’ll take that as beautiful,” she said giggling. She walked over to me and grabbed my hand. We left the building and headed to the theater to watch Death Race. The movie was awesome! Anyway, we left the movies and headed for the haunted house. She was terrified and clung on to me the whole time. I didn’t mind. I just held her to my side.
Once we left the haunted house, we returned to the campus. I was about to get in the shower when I heard Jennifer scream. Rushing back into the hall, I saw Jennifer terrified.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked her. She pointed to a dead rat. I picked it up. “Alright Zack and Jeff, come out.” Two guys came out from the main room laughing their asses off.
“The look on your face was priceless,” Zack managed to squeeze out.
“You screamed really loud and we laughed our asses off while you screamed!” Jeff said.
“Why don’t you two beat it before I beat you,” I said. They left and we entered our room. I got into the shower. When I got out Jennifer was already in bed.
“Guess what?” I asked Jennifer.
“What?”
“I got my first gig.”
ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”
“No joke, and we’re playing here.”
“That’s terrific!”
“Now I’ll finally be able to get my music out into the world.”
“I’ll be there with you all the way.”
“Thanks. Did you have fun today?”
“Yes I did. Well, goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” We went to bed. Tomorrow would be the start of my music career. What I didn’t know is how crazy of a ride it would be.
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Post by Ex Seed on Nov 10, 2009 8:15:12 GMT -8
I didn't really get how the title went with the autobio, the music was brief in the beginning.
Then was mentioned in the end. It wasn't bad, it just didn't catch much of my interest.
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Post by Greelinator on Nov 10, 2009 8:31:06 GMT -8
I didn't really get how the title went with the autobio, the music was brief in the beginning. Then was mentioned in the end. It wasn't bad, it just didn't catch much of my interest. it's just one part of the whole story Stroyer. i'll pos more of it when i get to another pause in the story. |
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Post by Greelinator on Nov 11, 2009 21:37:50 GMT -8
*bump* here is another part of the story
“Good morning my love!” That was the first thing I remember hearing when I woke up.
“Uh,” I groaned, “is it time to get up already?”
“Ha ha, you’re funny. It’s 11:45 am. You’re way past time to get up.”
“I guess my inability to wake up early is humoring you.” She giggled and gave me a kiss.
“Nothing beats waking up like a nice kiss from my girlfriend,” I said sarcastically. She punched me in the arm. “Ow.” It didn’t really hurt. I just like to let her pretend it hurts.
“So what do you plan on doing today?” she asked me.
“Well, I plan on practicing with my band.”
“Mind if I come and listen to you practice?”
“Let me call the band and ask them if it’s okay.” I called each of my band mates. They all agreed to her coming to our practice session. “The band has agreed for you to join us in our practice session…on one condition.”
“What would that be?”
“You have to be quiet and can’t disrupt us while we’re practicing. Do you think you can do that?”
“Yes.”
“Good, now lets go.” I started to grab my guitar picks. When I went to their spot, they were gone. “Honey, where are my lucky guitar picks?”
“You left them at your practice session, remember?”
“Oh yeah. Okay, lets go.” We headed out towards the music room, where we have our practice/jam sessions. On the way we met Dan, our lead guitarist. He is probably the best guitarist I’ve seen for his age, which is 17 (and I’m a late sophomore).
“Hey Jack!” Dan greeted me. “This is Jennifer I presume.”
“Yes it is. Isn’t she lovely?” I received another punch to the arm. This one wasn’t as hard as the last one. It was meant to be a playful punch, unlike the other one.
“Indeed, but she’s yours. You’re a lucky man, you know?”
“Hell yeah I know!”
“Nice to meet you Dan,” Jennifer piped in.
“Her voice is as lovely as she looks.” Without thinking, she punches Dan in the arm. I have this grave look on my face. To my surprise, Dan laughed. I released the breath I held.
“I should of told you. She don’t like being told she’s lovely. She’s had…issues before with that.” I didn’t continue or tell him because I didn’t want Jennifer hating me. Her history is her business anyway. If she wants to tell Dan (which I doubt she will), then that’s her business.
“It’s alright. I just want to know why she punched me harder than you.”
“Because he’s my boyfriend. I have to cut him a little slack,” Jennifer piped in again. Once we finished talking we made it to the studio unharmed.
“You two are late!” Steve yelled at me and Dan. “You were supposed to be…” Steve began but then noticed Jennifer. “So this is your girl?”
“Yes Steve. Lets start practicing. Jennifer, Steve here is our singer/lead guitarist two. As you already know, I’m lead guitarist one, and Dan is rhythm. Over there is Zack, our drummer.”
“Hello,” Zack introduced himself.
“Hi Zack,” Jennifer answered back.
“Our bassist’s real name is Bill, but we call him Triple B.”
“Why Triple B?” Jennifer asked.
“Stands for Bass Boomer Bill,” Triple B answered.
“His bass skills are crazy, plus he uses mainly low pitched notes,” I told her. “Give her a demo Triple B.”
“With pleasure,” Triple B said with a smile. Triple B started playing his bass. Based on the look on Jennifer’s face I can tell she was impressed.
“That was really cool Bill.”
“Please, call me Triple B.”
“Okay Triple B,” Jennifer giggled. Triple B smiled.
“Are we ready?” I asked.
“We’ve been ready,” Steve said with displeasure in his voice.
“Do you have an issue with me sleeping a little late on the weekend?” I said angrily.
“Uh, yeah. It’s cutting into our practice time.” Steve shot back.
“You know what?” I asked stepping toward him.
“Jack! Why don’t you show them your new solo?” Jennifer interrupted with a little fear in her voice. I stepped back and cooled down.
“You have a new solo?” Zack asked.
“Yeah, want to hear it?” I asked.
“Yeah!” answered everyone but Steve.
“Alright, but I’m still working on it. Haven’t mastered it yet.” I started to play with a rhythm, then went into my solo. My fingers were hammering on like crazy towards the bottom of the fret board. I almost had it finished, but my hand gave out. “Ah!” I yelled.
“That was the most amazing solo ever!” Zack and Dan yelled at the same time.
“It would have been an amazing solo if he was able to finish it. I honestly think you should be rhythm,” Steve said unsatisfied. I snapped.
“YOU KNOW WHAT? LETS SEE YOU PERFORM A SOLO LIKE THAT BITCH!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. Zack saw me charge Steve and held me back. Zack is a buff dude. You do NOT want to mess with him.
“That was totally uncalled for Steve!” Dan yelled at
Steve.
“Let me go Zack!” I yelled.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. If you hit him we have to fire you.” It was true. I made that rule when I started the band.
“You’re so lucky Steve. If I hadn’t made that rule I’d kick your ass right now!”
“You know what? I’m sick of you taking all the credit for this band, just because you started it. Do you agree Zack and Dan?”
“Actually, we think you went over the line this time,” Dan said with an upset tone.
“What?”
“Zack and Jack, band huddle.” The three of us huddled up.
“Do we fire him?” Dan asked.
“He is an amazing lead guitarist and decent at vocals,” Zack said.
“We can find another one or two before the gig. I say we fire him,” I said.
“Agreed.”
“Agreed.” We broke our huddle.
“Steve,” Zack began, “you are now officially fired.”
“You can’t fire me. I quit!” Steve stormed out of the building with his equipment.
“I’m sorry you had to witness this Jennifer,” I told her.
“It’s alright. I’m sure you’ll find a new guitarist and vocalist before your gig.”
“Well, better hold auditions,” Zack said.
“I’ll make the flyers. I should have them done in a matter of minutes,” Dan said.
So we worked together to hire either a new singer and a new lead guitarist or hire both in one. We held auditions in the auditorium.
“Present your name,” I told the guy.
“My name is Randy.”
“Can you sing, play guitar, or do both?”
“I can sing.”
“How confident are you in your skill at singing?”
“Pretty confident.”
“Sing me a song.” He started to sing and I knew he was lying. His singing was terrible! I told him that and he ran out the door. The next person came up.
“Present your name.”
“Rick.”
“Can you sing, play guitar, or both?”
“Both.”
“Here’s a guitar. Play me a solo.” The guy played an amazing solo. “Alright, now sing me a song.” His voice was pretty good. “Okay, I’ll need you to take a seat over there.” We went through ten more people before deciding that Rick would be our new singer/lead guitarist two.
Now we were back in the music room getting ready to practice. We were waiting on Rick, but he’s new so we’ll cut him some slack for now.
“Sorry I’m late guys. Couldn’t find my cable.”
“It’s cool. Lets start practicing.” We practiced for a solid hour and a half. Rick got the hang of our songs pretty quickly. He was a lot better than Steve. I hate that punk. Once we get famous and he isn’t, I’m going to rub it in his face!
“Alright, see you guys tomorrow,” Rick said as he was leaving. Practice was over for the day. Dan headed for his apartment, Zack went to his dorm. Jennifer and I stayed and cleaned up a bit. Once the place was cleaned up, we went back to our dorm.
“Well, what did you think?” I asked Jennifer.
“You guys are amazing. I really love listening to you guys play.”
“Just wait ‘til we get on stage for the gig. We’ll be even better.”
“Well, it’s time to go to bed. Night dear. I love you.”
“Love you too.” We went to bed. Today was a hectic day. I can put it behind me though because we got a new member of the band and he is way better than Steve. Tomorrow, we start our gig.
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Post by Orkanis on Nov 12, 2009 16:39:43 GMT -8
Looks more like a book or something from a quest of this boy and his love.
From the looks of it here, the only thing that runs through my head is what kind of conflicts are here? I mean, everything is going diddly dandy lol. From here on out I hope not to expect the same routine. D:
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Post by Greelinator on Nov 12, 2009 16:52:48 GMT -8
did you not read the part where Steve and Jack almost fight? don't worry story ain't done. i no that a good story needs conflict. give me time to get to it
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Post by Orkanis on Nov 12, 2009 16:55:35 GMT -8
did you not read the part where Steve and Jack almost fight?Yeah, almost. lol |
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Post by Greelinator on Nov 12, 2009 17:06:27 GMT -8
remember, the story isn't finished. i haven't even gotten to the good part.
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